MY FRIEND JIMOH: THE ENTERTAINER

Just recently (September 2010) I was at my mom’s village, Imé Ogbé in Idumuje Unor, Aniocha-North Local Government Area of Delta state; to bury my very dear aunt. Though we left Lagos deeply pained and conflicted as to how we were going to conduct ourselves around our close, distant relatives and by and large, the villagers; I never expected for us to have a smooth and fun-filled burial ceremony—this was so because, villagers from my geographical region usually avail themselves of the rear opportunity to humiliate and further traumatize the bereaved—it’s just a standard practice which applies to every family. We owe the fun filled part to a new found but, unusual friend of mine called Jimoh. Before I met him, I had heard a lot about him from my relatives in the village and I wondered why they didn’t keep him at arm’s length. Well, I understood later after I decided to assume the role of a quasi-psychologist and study the enigma I now call my friend. Below are my unprofessional findings.

Legend has it that Jimoh was fathered by a Yoruba man in the late 60s but for some reasons, he lived all his formative years in the Anioma region of Delta State. A lot of his former class mates confess that at the time they were in school with Jimoh, they thought he was quite hilarious because he always knew when and how to provoke laughter from his mates and teachers alike but then, he wasn’t that popular. No one really knows how it started but, Jimoh, in his adolescent years had began to slip away from what most of us would consider normalcy or better still, reality. Alas! It happened; Jimoh had become schizophrenic at a very young age. All effort his family made to restore his sanity came to naught—as they had taken him to various psychiatric hospitals and local native doctors. They had lost all hope in Jimoh... But, little did they know that the future had something better in stock for him.

As Jimoh became of age, he strategically positioned himself as the ‘Funeral Chief Entertaining Officer’ of the entire Aniocha- North Local Government Area. A designation he has taken very seriously and a hard worker he is. No traditional funeral takes place within his domain without his knowledge and attendance. Jimoh usually arrives at the venue on time fairly looking nice for a schizophrenic – sometimes with his clothes well ironed for the event—even when there has been no power supply in the whole town for days. He takes up the important role of the guy who intermittently interrupts very serious meetings and often quoting the wisest of native parables and idioms in a not-so-apt fashion; particularly, when village elders, traditional chiefs and sometimes, the King are present in these meetings. His mental state makes it possible for him to do this and get away with it because, it assumed that he can't process the difference in personalities.

Jimoh is also an excellent comedian. His ability to deploy important parables to suit his own selfish needs is legendary. For example, if he gets hungry during a lengthy and boring meeting, he might just exclaim in our Igbo dialect;

“onya norka odu, ogbu'e onor”

[Translation]: if an armed trap (meant for antelopes and other bush-meats) stays longer than necessary, it would end up catching a little mouse.

Whenever he gets an encore to perform again; he'd simply dismiss everybody by saying; “afo lika okpoho mma, wa la’gbue!”

[Translation]: if a woman is too nice, kind and indulgent and solicitous to a fault to men, everyman would sexually take advantage of her.

Soon after such a rude interruption, people immediately start showering Jimoh with money in appreciation for his ‘words of wisdom’ and as he collects the money, he responds by fulsomely praising, praying for his benefactors and sometimes, he goes as far cursing anyone or anything planning evil against them. I remembered so being carried away by his performance that I was just rewarding him with almost all the N100 notes I had secreted about my person when, all of a sudden, he came behind me to inform me that I had exceeded his approved amount per person and that I should keep my money and use it for something else—how considerate of him.

Around the time of the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, an irritatingly noisy, plastic wind instrument was introduced to fans. That instrument was called the 'vuvuzela' and some mischievous individuals decided to get Jimoh one of them. Little did they know, this simple plastic trumpet-like instrument would revolutionize the way Jimoh entertained people. First Jimoh started making slight modifications on it by fastening thin strips of multi-coloured cloths, to serve as a form of sling then, proceeded to call it a 'cornet' despite the fact that everyone had informed him that is indeed a vuvuzela; and within hours, Jimoh had already started producing tunes similar to the popular ones usually scored by traditional Igbo tusk blowers and flutists. The only difference was Jimoh's version lacked any form of melodic precision and is invariably off key – and that's precisely how he loves his kind of music. Now, whenever any important village meeting is taking place (no matter how highly placed the conveners are), Jimoh would announce his arrival from a hundred meters’ distance by playing his own signature tune before taking his seat—although the King is the only one allowed to announce his arrival in this fashion. Sometimes, for absolutely no reason, he would just stand up and briefly blow his ‘cornet’ and when he is done he would explain that, “if you’re ever in the middle of the highway and you hear something similar to what I’ve just blown, just know that it’s a heavy-duty truck that is about to crush you because a trailer on high speed is a respecter of no human being.”

Though he may be insane, Jimoh ensures that in every of such village meetings, the agenda is strictly adhered to and he’s always on ground to admonish any unnecessary noise maker other than himself. He also offers to serve palm wine and other drinks to everyone present during such meetings thus, validating and establishing his nuisance- value.

Jimoh has dug more graves than any other individual in the entire local government and he always gets paid for it albeit, token fees. Sometimes, apart from digging graves, when the officiating minister is busy reading important bible passages at the grave site, Jimoh would be on the other side of the grave reciting a whole chapter of Shakespeare's 'Julius Caesar' (especially the one that has to do with Caesar's burial by Mac Anthony) concurrently and completely by heart.

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest--
For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men--
Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man....” – this is despite the fact that we are not Romans; the dead is not Caesar and there is no one called Brutus around the vicinity.

Apart from all his comic theatrics, Jimoh is also an excellent dancer. Not only is he an energetic one but, his talented ability incorporate singing, comedy and drama into his dance routine is a sight to behold. He would dance from one end of the gathering to the other without losing steam and, at the same time, purveying entertainment and laughter to the crowd. With Jimoh around, you'll just forget the reason why everybody is gathered in the first place-- he just has his way of diffusing the sombre atmosphere with his comic relief.

Tragedy also came knocking at Jimoh's family sometime last year: he lost his beloved mother! Jimoh must have cried a 1000 litres of tears but, little did he know that the whole community took notice of it. On the day his mother was to be buried, family, friends, fans, well-wishers, passers-by and even by-standers assembled at his family compound to show solidarity. It was like the whole Aniocha-North Local Government Area had stood still in honour of Jimoh's mother; while he received gifts, cash and condolences from all of them. That was the day everyone realized that Jimoh was indeed a star and a legend in that regard.

Jimoh is also known to have made complacent statements like, “there is no freedom like that of a mad man and if I’m to come back to this world in the next life, I would ensure that I come back mad.” He also stated categorically during one of the ‘New Yam’ festivals that, “any town you visit and notice there are no madmen, investigate and you shall find out that the town has been polluted.” What makes his utterances more confusing to the untrained ear is the fact that you can’t tell when he is under the influence of alcohol and when he is sober – his condition blurs the distinctions. To be his fan, you would have to know how to the difference because, when he becomes sober, he usually denounces whatever he might have said while drunk (paradoxically ironic, isn’t it?).

With all the fame and due recognition and as time went by, he took on a more executive role as the leader of all the mentally challenged (mad) people in the area and he took with all the charisma and conviction of a secondary school debate team captain. One time, Jimoh was returning from a funeral at the neighbouring town when all of a sudden, he noticed another mad man laughing and running round a tree. At first, the people who gathered to relish this unusual sight had hoped that Jimoh would find the one-man activity amusing but instead, Jimoh found it very unprofessional for lunatic to conduct himself in that manner then, he grabbed him by the shirt and slapped him before asking him; “Is it the same madness that we mad men display that you are exhibiting? Look, if you know you are tired of being mad, you better leave this town because you are demeaning our (mad men) reputation, you idiot!”

My new friend also has a romantic side. All it takes for Jimoh to be temporarily normal is for any light skinned beautiful girl to be within his proximity—this usually prompts him to start speaking English in a foreign accent. He is also known to have had numerous affairs with sane, not so sane and mad women too.

Believe it or not, Jimoh runs a very tight schedule, which entails that he must be ubiquitous. That is why any time meetings are too lengthy and boring, Jimoh would cut-off the speaking elder to remind them to hurry up because, other people are awaiting his arrival.

He is highly presumptuous but not pretentious; what he lacks in conventional etiquette, he makes up for with an unbelievable charisma. His lack of perspicacity and concentration is usually overlooked because his retentive memory. He is always punctual, almost diligent, professional, ubiquitous and pertinacious at whatever he thinks he is doing to the point where you begin to question his insanity. I remember him telling me during the ceremony that; “there is no freedom in the world like that of a mad man’s.” – Now I understand exactly what he means. Yes, his critics may argue that his methods are sacrilegious and ultimately disrespectful to the dead but, I always counter by reminding them that he suffers from schizophrenia and as such, he is doing the best he can; considering his mental constraints. If only his critics could see past his gratuitous, unmelodic blowing of his cornet, out-of-sync statements and the inordinate urge for him to be heard at inappropriate moments, they would find in him, a jolly good mad man who readily provides succour to the down trodden. A mad man whom I call MY FRIEND.

P. S.

This write-up was not an attempt in any way to proselytize insanity.

© 2010 Ronald Ekene Monye
RONMONYE STUDIOS.